Think about your best friend. They are your number one cheerleader, celebrating your wins and lifting you up when you’re down. They listen to your problems without judgment. They forgive your mistakes, and they tell you the hard truths with a foundation of unwavering love. They’ve got your back, always.
Now, answer this honestly: Do you treat yourself that way?
For most of us, the answer is a hard no. We are our own harshest critic, our most relentless taskmaster, and our most unforgiving judge. We spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with ourselves. Isn’t it time we made that relationship the best, most supportive, and most loving one we’ve got?
Becoming your own best friend isn’t a narcissistic act; it is the ultimate foundation for a happy and confident life. It’s the daily, intentional practice of showing up for yourself with the same loyalty and kindness you so freely give to others. Ready to become your own ride-or-die? Here’s how.
How to Be Your Own Best Friend and Love Yourself More
1. Be Your Own Hype Person
A best friend is the first person to celebrate your good news. Stop waiting for external validation and become the first person to acknowledge your own wins, no matter how small.
The Friendship Payoff: This practice of self-acknowledgment builds a powerful sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on outside praise. You learn to be proud of your own efforts, which is a key ingredient of unshakable confidence.
Actionable Step: At the end of today, write down one thing you did well. It could be as small as getting through a tough meeting or making a healthy meal. Silently say to yourself, “Hey, good job on that.”
2. Listen to Your Own Feelings
When your best friend is upset, you drop everything to listen. You give them the space to feel their feelings without telling them they’re being “too sensitive” or “dramatic.” You need to offer yourself that same courtesy.
The Friendship Payoff: This builds emotional intelligence and self-awareness. By allowing yourself to feel your feelings without judgment, you process them more quickly and learn to understand what you truly need.
Actionable Step: Once a day, pause and ask yourself, “What am I actually feeling right now?” Put a name to the emotion (e.g., “I’m feeling disappointed,” “I’m feeling overwhelmed”) and just let it be there for a moment.
3. Forgive Your Own Mistakes
A good friend doesn’t keep a running list of every stupid thing you’ve ever done. They forgive you, they help you learn the lesson, and they move on. Your inner critic, however, has a perfect memory. It’s time to fire it.
The Friendship Payoff: Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. By treating your mistakes as learning opportunities instead of character flaws, you build resilience and the courage to take risks.
Actionable Step: Think of one small mistake you made recently. Now, say this to yourself, out loud if you can: “It’s okay. You’re human. You’re allowed to be imperfect.”
4. Take Yourself on Dates
A great friendship is built on quality time. The same is true for your relationship with yourself. You have to intentionally schedule time to get to know and enjoy your own company.
The Friendship Payoff: This builds a deep comfort with solitude and proves to you that you are your own source of fun and fulfillment. A person who genuinely likes their own company is incredibly magnetic.
Actionable Step: This week, schedule a 30-minute “solo date.” Take a book to a coffee shop, go for a walk in a park you love, or visit a museum. Put your phone away and just be with you.
5. Be Your Own Bodyguard
A best friend would never let someone walk all over you. They would step in and protect you. You need to become the fierce guardian of your own time, energy, and peace.
The Friendship Payoff: Setting and enforcing boundaries is a radical act of self-love. It proves that you value your own well-being. It prevents the burnout and resentment that comes from constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own.
Actionable Step: Identify one small boundary you can set this week. It could be as simple as not answering work emails after 8 PM.
6. Speak Kindly to Yourself
Pay attention to your internal monologue. Is it kind? Is it supportive? Or is it a constant stream of criticism? A best friend would never speak to you the way your inner critic often does.
The Friendship Payoff: Your thoughts create your reality. By consciously choosing a kinder, more encouraging inner dialogue, you create a supportive and peaceful internal environment where you can thrive.
Actionable Step: The next time you catch yourself in a negative thought spiral, pause. Ask, “Would I say this to my best friend?” If the answer is no, find a kinder thought.
7. Keep Your Promises to Yourself
A best friend is reliable. You trust them because they do what they say they’re going to do. You need to build that same level of integrity with yourself.
The Friendship Payoff: Self-trust is the bedrock of confidence. Every time you keep a small promise to yourself—to drink more water, to go to bed earlier, to stretch for five minutes—you prove to yourself that you are someone you can count on.
Actionable Step: Make one laughably small promise to yourself for tomorrow. “I will drink one glass of water as soon as I wake up.” Then, honor that promise.
8. Tell Yourself the Hard Truths (with Love)
A true best friend doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear; they tell you what you need to hear, and they do it with a foundation of love and support.
The Friendship Payoff: This is the practice of radical self-honesty. It allows you to see where you’re getting in your own way and to make changes from a place of empowerment, not shame.
Actionable Step: Gently ask yourself: “What is one truth I’ve been avoiding?” Journal about it for five minutes from the perspective of a loving, supportive coach.
The relationship you have with yourself is the longest, most intimate, and most important one of your entire life. Making it a true friendship is a daily choice.
It’s the practice of showing up for yourself with the same unwavering loyalty, unconditional kindness, and fierce support you would offer your most cherished friend. Go be that for yourself, starting now.